I got hurt Saturday morning at practice. I'm sort of embarrassed and in a twisted way disappointed to have no exciting story of receiving a mega body check from an Amazonian blocker, getting lifted off my feet and thrown to the ground, smacking my head and getting a minor concussion. Nope. I fell during the friggin' warm up, before I even had a chance to scrimmage.
I was going around the corner in a spread eagle type dealio, with my feet wide to the sides. Another skater zigged and I zagged and I tumbled in slow motion, feet up and landing on my butt and back, catching myself a bit with my arms but also punctuating the whole display with a huge whack of the back of my helmet as it hit the ground. I saw stars for a second. I sat there for a minute to recover. Then I started making jokes, got up and continued the warm up, even though things were a bit blurry, my legs felt shaky and I felt a bit nauseous. Did I mention I am a very stupidly stubborn person?
Being that stubborn-to-a-flaw girl, I proceeded with getting equipment check for the scrimmage, the whole time feeling woozy and not on my legs. Sort of floating through the motions. Then I (inexcusably, ridiculously, stupidly) decided to try to participate in a jam and see how I felt.
Wow. The whole two minutes it was as if I was moving in super slow motion. Other skaters were swerving in front of and behind me and all the motion was making me extremely nauseous and dizzy. It was seriously all I could focus on to stand up. As I sit and write this now I am ashamed of my stupidity, how insanely dangerous what I did was not only for me but my fellow skaters.
So let me tell you about a 45 minute window of my morning of not doing anything too straining.....
It's lunch time. I'm getting the kid's food ready. Aldo is in his chair, eating his yogurt. Because Oona was born with a fire under her butt she is unable to sit in her highchair for long periods of time (which for her equates to more than 10 minutes) without completely going bonkers. She also has a strange aversion to actually eating in her chair. Despising any compromise to her mobility and freedom (see bull headed, overly energetic, and excitable mother) we allow her to wander and sort of prime her pump with a part of her dinner until Aldo has eaten a bit and sometimes us too, otherwise we are regaled by earsplitting screeches, groans, tears and protests reminiscent of Gollum with the elven rope as we attempt to shovel our food in.
Today the little hellion was attempting to push her brother's high chair (with him in it) around the kitchen. She actually succeeded a few times, and I caught myself slack jawed and marveling at her super strength before I reminded myself that I needed to reprimand her.
I turned around for one second to flip the quesadilla I was making and she somehow managed to pull his tray, complete with food off his chair. There was a full bowl of yogurt and some veggie chips all over the floor. The girl had suddenly found her appetite and was slipping on the yogurt, proceeding to eat it and the chips. Our ancient cat walked through the yogurt and actually slipped. Now I had to not only clean up the girl and the floor, fish the yogurty floor chips out of her vice-like grip, but follow the yogurt footprints and wipe the cat down.
The boy is saying "It's ok Oona, it's ok. I was done" and singing "she's special....soooo special...gotta have some of your attention! Give it to me!!" In the chaos of the great yogurt slick clean up I manage to hear the radio and sure enough, "Brass in Pocket" by the Pretenders is playing.
Did I mention Aldo named his sister's stuffed bunny Chrissie Hynde? He also recently named her bear Morrissey, one of his bears Herzog, his stuffed rabbit Dave Brubeck, his monkey Bono and renamed his stuffed narwhal The Edge. I also should mention that once I caught my little Costanza eating the same food she had rejected in her chair out of the garbage can.
Somehow I manage to get this all cleaned up and they are both secure in their chairs. Aldo is finishing up with a bunch of fruit and some teddy grahams. He is pretending the bears are falling down and slipping "like mommy does at roller skating and like Oona when she is is danger because the floor is very wet with yogurt. Mommy should put a wet floor sign down so Oona doesn't fall." He's stacking the bears up, like in the photo. Calling them "bear devils." Then he starts to snuggle a teddy graham under his arm, like the picture on the box. He's saying "I looove you bear. You are my friend. I am protecting you like in the picture on the box. I am protecting you because you are soooo crunchy and delicious." And then into his mouth goes the bear he was taking such good care of under his arm.All this in less than 45 minutes.
It's Calgon moments like this that I work to remind myself of the less chaotic, heart melting, tear producing moments of sweetness. The moments I say, "Now THAT'S why I had kids." My husband, a little less poetic than me but sharing my tears describes them as "moments that melt your heart right out your asshole."
So far to date one of the greatest moments of parenthood for me is witnessing my kids' first ice cream. Both of their first tastes, the first time it touched their mouths are very similar. They got this slightly surprised, puzzled look on their faces. Then after they swallowed, their eyes lit up and they started giggling, a smile crossing their entire face.
I think about what they must feel when their faces light up like that. The utter joy and wonder they must be experiencing and it makes me incredibly happy. I know my face does this sometimes when I look at them. I know it also does it when I am skating super fast, crossing over, and feeling good, or executing a perfect tomahawk as I power through my favorite suicide drill.
Since her chin split and trip to emergency Oona has been extremely shy and clingy when confronted with strangers. Friday night we took the kids with us to a bowling party for derby. She was glued to me for the better part of the time we were there, face buried in my chest. And Aldo was giving my poor hubster a real time of it, attempting to run away from him, slide down the lanes and examine all the brightly colored bowling balls. Although we couldn't let this happen, I completely understand. I am crazy about bowling, have dreamt of sliding down those shiny slick lanes myself on many occasions. And the variety of colorful balls is amazing.
Right at our breaking point, Alan had the brilliant idea of sitting him at the lunch counter and ordering a milkshake. They brought it back to me and the girl, still clinging like velcro-baby to me. Aldo kept insisting that she try it. She eventually did, that smile crossed her face and suddenly my shy, clingy baby returned to her usual firecracker state, swatting the straw out of my mouth as I attempted to have a sip of shake, and shoving it into her own, taking long, deep determined swigs.
And this happened in the midst of a bowling alley, surrounded by extraordinary derby women. Couldn't have been a more perfect first ice cream moment.
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