A dear friend of mine died last week. She was 41. She was diagnosed with Leukemia in 2009, when her daughter was about 6 months old. She went through two bone marrow transplants, and remained strong and positive throughout, parenting her almost 3 year old daughter from bed the majority of the last few months. She died December 8, a few days short of her daughter's third birthday.
Diana was my first Alexander Technique student after graduating. I have never in my life met a more vibrant, generous, caring, fair, and warm person. She sparkled in her eyes and with every cell of her whole being. She was a wonderful blend of incredible curiosity, intelligence and humor, and we would laugh our asses off in our lessons. We connected instantly, the first time she came to my house. I can still remember the warmth in her voice when we talked on the phone to set up her lesson. It was as if we'd known each other forever, and just picked up that first day where we had left off. I gave her lessons and we became good friends. At that time in her life she was a massage therapist, and we would do exchanges and also refer clients/students to each other. When she landed a very wealthy client who payed incredibly well and wanted to see her 3 times a week she insisted on coming to lessons with me twice a week, paying me more than my rate, even though I begged her to come for free or do exchanges because we were friends. That was just the way she was, insisting on sharing her windfall with her friends.
She was instrumental in getting me out of the misery of 20 long years of waiting tables. I had been hanging on to a restaurant job to make ends meet as I began my teaching career. She asked me to make her a skirt like one I had made myself. Then she wore it into a fancy boutique in Park Slope, Brooklyn and proceeded to sell it and my work to them, taking a card and insisting vehemently that I call them and do skirts on consignment. I ended up selling over 200 skirts through them, and began gaining some much needed confidence that there were indeed other ways to make ends meet besides bartending and waiting tables. Bored with making the same skirt over and over, I eventually started my fabrikate home furnishings business, worked incredibly hard and often frantically but mostly had a blast, met many wonderful clients and ultimately retired from restaurant work after 20 years in the industry. If it wasn't for her I would have struggled with that transition much longer. Diana also helped me get work teaching a few semesters in the Continuing Education program at the Swedish Institute, teaching massage therapists Alexander Technique, which ended up being one of my favorite gigs.
I had my son about 4 months after her daughter was born. An emergency c-section, completely opposite the birth we had hoped for, the whole experience was, in a word hellish, with the exception of one amazing and very cherished nurse. Diana was our only visitor in the hospital. Again, I can still remember that joyful, smiling voice of hers calling out "Kate Kobak!!" as she entered the room and came around the curtain with her little girl, making time to come all the way uptown and way out on the West Side of the city in her already busy day. That half hour visit was a sparkling beacon in an otherwise harrowing experience. And Diana was, pretty much a sparkling beacon just in general. I am in awe of her bravery, dignity, and positive attitude in dealing with her disease. If I could muster half of that positivity just in daily life I would be doing good. She was extraordinary.
Although I never directly told her, she is also a huge part of the reason I decided to try derby. I can't imagine having to deal with what she did, with such gracefullness. She got to a point where she was so limited in her movement and breath that she couldn't walk a few city blocks without needing a break or to get a cab. When she first told me she was diagnosed, and continued to keep me posted on her battle I started really considering the way I live my life, the things I put off or let slip through the cracks, the things I would be deeply disappointed to miss if I was limited in my abilities or time here on earth.
One day years ago she called me out of the blue, excited and begging me to take trapeze class with her. It was right before the first portion of her finals for her masters degree, the oral portion I think. She said, "I can't imagine anyone I'd rather do this with. I also can't think of anything scarier for me to do, so it would be the best preparation for my dissertation!!" I remember responding with something goofy like, "Wait, wait, slow down. You had me at trapeze..of course I will go with you...is there class today?"
We were instructed in class to move on the instuctor's "heps," which I think is like trapezeeze for "go." On his "hep" you were to jump off the platform 20 feet in the air, swing forward on the trapeze, the next hep,pull your feet up over the bar, the next one let go and swing upside down from your knees. Then on hep you pull up, grab the bar again and get your knees off. The last hep was your drop to the net below. In practice on the ground the jumping on the hep was no prob, but once you are up there and he's chirping hep at you to make the initial jump it's amazing how you forget how your legs work. We both did it, and much of it was a blur. What's crystal clear though is us sweaty, exhilarated and walking through Williamsburg after class on that warm, sultry night, laughing and yelling "hep" at the top of our lungs as we proceeded to jump off every curb, our arms and hands shaking from a combination of the workout they just endured and the adrenaline of the whole experience.
This is how I want to live my life, fearlessly jumping on the "heps" and with the positivity, courage, kindness and generosity Diana had. I'm so lucky she found that poster advertising Alexander lessons I hung on a very out of the way lamp post in Brooklyn many years ago. My life is richer for knowing her, and she has had a profound influence on it, in so many ways. A part of every practice and bout will be for you, lady.
In our time together working at the Wellness Sanctuary at Om Yoga in NY we wrote for the newsletter. Below are both of our entries sharing our trapeze experience.
aimingup fall 2007 newsletter
Conquering Fear by Staying in the Moment (by Diana Colbert)
Diana was my first Alexander Technique student after graduating. I have never in my life met a more vibrant, generous, caring, fair, and warm person. She sparkled in her eyes and with every cell of her whole being. She was a wonderful blend of incredible curiosity, intelligence and humor, and we would laugh our asses off in our lessons. We connected instantly, the first time she came to my house. I can still remember the warmth in her voice when we talked on the phone to set up her lesson. It was as if we'd known each other forever, and just picked up that first day where we had left off. I gave her lessons and we became good friends. At that time in her life she was a massage therapist, and we would do exchanges and also refer clients/students to each other. When she landed a very wealthy client who payed incredibly well and wanted to see her 3 times a week she insisted on coming to lessons with me twice a week, paying me more than my rate, even though I begged her to come for free or do exchanges because we were friends. That was just the way she was, insisting on sharing her windfall with her friends.
She was instrumental in getting me out of the misery of 20 long years of waiting tables. I had been hanging on to a restaurant job to make ends meet as I began my teaching career. She asked me to make her a skirt like one I had made myself. Then she wore it into a fancy boutique in Park Slope, Brooklyn and proceeded to sell it and my work to them, taking a card and insisting vehemently that I call them and do skirts on consignment. I ended up selling over 200 skirts through them, and began gaining some much needed confidence that there were indeed other ways to make ends meet besides bartending and waiting tables. Bored with making the same skirt over and over, I eventually started my fabrikate home furnishings business, worked incredibly hard and often frantically but mostly had a blast, met many wonderful clients and ultimately retired from restaurant work after 20 years in the industry. If it wasn't for her I would have struggled with that transition much longer. Diana also helped me get work teaching a few semesters in the Continuing Education program at the Swedish Institute, teaching massage therapists Alexander Technique, which ended up being one of my favorite gigs.
I had my son about 4 months after her daughter was born. An emergency c-section, completely opposite the birth we had hoped for, the whole experience was, in a word hellish, with the exception of one amazing and very cherished nurse. Diana was our only visitor in the hospital. Again, I can still remember that joyful, smiling voice of hers calling out "Kate Kobak!!" as she entered the room and came around the curtain with her little girl, making time to come all the way uptown and way out on the West Side of the city in her already busy day. That half hour visit was a sparkling beacon in an otherwise harrowing experience. And Diana was, pretty much a sparkling beacon just in general. I am in awe of her bravery, dignity, and positive attitude in dealing with her disease. If I could muster half of that positivity just in daily life I would be doing good. She was extraordinary.
Although I never directly told her, she is also a huge part of the reason I decided to try derby. I can't imagine having to deal with what she did, with such gracefullness. She got to a point where she was so limited in her movement and breath that she couldn't walk a few city blocks without needing a break or to get a cab. When she first told me she was diagnosed, and continued to keep me posted on her battle I started really considering the way I live my life, the things I put off or let slip through the cracks, the things I would be deeply disappointed to miss if I was limited in my abilities or time here on earth.
One day years ago she called me out of the blue, excited and begging me to take trapeze class with her. It was right before the first portion of her finals for her masters degree, the oral portion I think. She said, "I can't imagine anyone I'd rather do this with. I also can't think of anything scarier for me to do, so it would be the best preparation for my dissertation!!" I remember responding with something goofy like, "Wait, wait, slow down. You had me at trapeze..of course I will go with you...is there class today?"
We were instructed in class to move on the instuctor's "heps," which I think is like trapezeeze for "go." On his "hep" you were to jump off the platform 20 feet in the air, swing forward on the trapeze, the next hep,pull your feet up over the bar, the next one let go and swing upside down from your knees. Then on hep you pull up, grab the bar again and get your knees off. The last hep was your drop to the net below. In practice on the ground the jumping on the hep was no prob, but once you are up there and he's chirping hep at you to make the initial jump it's amazing how you forget how your legs work. We both did it, and much of it was a blur. What's crystal clear though is us sweaty, exhilarated and walking through Williamsburg after class on that warm, sultry night, laughing and yelling "hep" at the top of our lungs as we proceeded to jump off every curb, our arms and hands shaking from a combination of the workout they just endured and the adrenaline of the whole experience.
This is how I want to live my life, fearlessly jumping on the "heps" and with the positivity, courage, kindness and generosity Diana had. I'm so lucky she found that poster advertising Alexander lessons I hung on a very out of the way lamp post in Brooklyn many years ago. My life is richer for knowing her, and she has had a profound influence on it, in so many ways. A part of every practice and bout will be for you, lady.
In our time together working at the Wellness Sanctuary at Om Yoga in NY we wrote for the newsletter. Below are both of our entries sharing our trapeze experience.
aimingup fall 2007 newsletter
Conquering Fear by Staying in the Moment (by Diana Colbert)
