First Vice Quads Practice January 24

Last night was the first Vice Quads team practice. There are two things on my mind:

1. Perhaps I shouldn't have been such an overachiever and run hard for several miles as well as do a million squats with weight the night prior to practice and that is why during my first loop of warmup I strained one of my hip flexors, completely putting the emergency brakes on the fun that was practice last night.

Basically I was skating with one leg. I couldn't lift my foot to crossover or push with my right leg without feeling like there was a 20 pound weight pulling on the muscles deep in my hip crease. My karate teacher used to call this "dead leg." By the end of practice my leg was numb, and my toes were tingling when I laid down to go to sleep. I loathe feeling limited in any way and I have caught myself actually pouting today as I ice it.

2. "Holy @$*% what just happened??!" This pretty much sums up my first experience of practice bouting. So crazy fast paced, an enormous amount of things to be aware of and balance. So many possibilites of tight, communicative teamwork, of strategy. On an uninjured leg I will be loving learning to play.

Speaking of learning, I have a huge amount to do. I consider myself a fairly decent skater, but it's an entirely new skill set needed to play and actually understand what the (*bleep*) is going on. I had a toddler freak-out filled day yesterday and I was frazzled coming into practice. In my exhaustion I caught my way too familiar habits of frustration and perfectionism when learning new skills kick in before I had a chance to inhibit them.

In Alexander Technique inhibition is a concept used to suspend your habitual reactions to stimuli, to allow yourself a chance to respond in a more efficient way. It is a tool that allows students to release themselves from unconscious, often inefficient habits of response to stimuli. We have so many habits of movement and thought, some of them serve us well and others create huge obstacles for us. For me personally this particular habit of harshly judging myself always presents itself. I am always way too hard on myself, and this is an extremely inefficient habit, a huge interference to my learning and enjoyment of experiences.

I'm 40 years old. I've been lucky to have enjoyed several past lives, each another facet of what makes me me today, chock full of learning and growth. In gradeschool I was a skater and dancer. In highschool I got hardcore into dance. I joined a dance company after a year of college. Then I had my own little dance company and collaborated with an amazing group of people for years in Pittsburgh. When I moved to NY I studied Karate and got to compete. I had the luxury of studying Alexander Technique for 3 years and getting certified to teach.I taught Alexander privately and at a yoga center and started a home furnishing business when living in New York. I became a mom twice. Throughout all of these vastly unique lives this habit is the underlying thread. It keeps presenting itself to me over and over. You'd think it would be about time I believed in its inefficiency and extinguished it as I begin the roller derby portion of my life.

Another concept from my past karate life that I think applies really nicely is that of "Beginner's Mind," which I have found extremely helpful in countering this demon of a habit. I will include a brief definition here:

Shoshin - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Maybe when I'm 50 if I still haven't learned I will get that kanji tattoed somewhere I can see...

Alas, the wee ones are rising. My system requires more coffee and my hip begs for more ice. Looking forward to practice tonight and allowing myself to work with this mindset.