Today I am considering the things my life would be poorer for if I didn't have the opportunity to experience them. At 11AM I'm skating 15 or so feet in front of a paceline of girls who are taking turns skating up and hip/body checking me. The looks on everyone's faces as they come at you is the absolute best. Most girls are smiling just prior to checking you with all they have and throwing you off balance. It's super cool how much you can be aware of in that teeny moment as you watch them approach. The sound of both of your breaths, your itchy elbow pad that seriously needs to be washed, the whoosh of everyone's wheels, what the approaching skater has on, the voices of the coaches and other skaters. I especially love noticing what color mouthguards people have in that split second before they slam you.
An hour and a half later it's 12:30 PM at home, and I'm holding my daughter, softening myself and clearing all remnants of hardening and impact out of my system as she drifts off to sleep, sighing and cuddly, resting her head on my chest. She's a tiny steamroller, loud as an air raid siren, fearless, strong willed, constantly squirming and twisting to be let go so she can be free and wreak havoc so this is a rare moment of calm and I'm soaking it up.
I'm also thinking about how important it is in derby and daily life to stay fully present in the moment,allow yourself to be aware of and relish every detail. It's those details that make things really tasty. It's marvelous how completely opposite these two experiences of my day are, and the opportunities for adaptation they offer me.It is so easy to allow yourself to become overly comfortable and fixed in your habits. Living or skating this way leaves no room for growth or exploration, and although shifting gears is not always easy, a life like that would make me miserable. In one derby practice or a few hours of my daily life the necessity to switch gears, shift focus and regroup are plentiful. Although they bring out different facets of my personality and require unique skills there are a lot of parallels between my momming/derby existences, and I believe they very strongly complement each other. I'm realizing that for me a lot of life is about how we weather the unexpected and how skilled we are at adapting.
We worked a ton today on more aggressively blocking and I have to admit I was intimidated, questioning myself and whether I'm tough enough to handle this sport and all the unexpected impact that can occur during a bout. I am really not a very aggressive person. When I was studying karate sparring was always challenging for me. Eventually I got used to it the more I sparred but not without a ton of effort. This is precisely why I believe derby is an excellent activity for me. It goes against the grain of my habitual approach to life and my interactions with others. Although it's usually surprising and never easy I'm used to falling and getting back up in my life and with my skating. Each time I pick myself up and begin again or receive a terrifically powerful check I realize how strong I can be. All this physical contact and falling is really good for me. I have always believed that life presents us with the same lesson repeatedly and in many different manifestions until we fully understand. For me, being a bit more aggressive is one of those lessons that keeps coming back to me. I think derby works on a psycho-physical level to teach me more about that, and to study my responses to situations and stimuli that call for more assertiveness.
The countdown begins....only about 53 hours until the test!!! Stay tuned fair readers!! And to show your support for Maraud Lebowski make sure to make one small choice today that goes against your habit!
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