Well, my gut instinct was correct. I am supposed to be doing this. I am truly irritated that I allowed myself to be deprived of this amount of fun for 2 decades. Mark my words, 20 years from now if I am still alive and kicking I am going to be coaching other women to do this when I am 60, wearing my brightly colored Converse Chuck Taylors.
We skated in a pack for the first time last night. Extraordinary. The 10 or so of us are basically strangers, not really having the time in 2 practices to get to know each other yet. I came away from my first pack experience feeling a much deeper sense of each of these amazing ladies, their energies, balance, and personalities. Each of them came into much sharper focus as individuals for me, as a result of working together like some kind of amoeba-like mass. Wow, what a blast.
Here's a very brief overview of the rules of the game. There are two teams, each consisting of 4 blockers (one of these is designated as the "pivot" and is sort of the head blocker, also the only player able take the jammer's place if need be and a successful pass of the star helmet cover is made.) The 5th member of the team is called the jammer, and they wear a star helmet cover. They need to skate crazy fast and are the only ones who score points. Points are acquired by breaking through the pack, skating a lap and then breaking through again and passing members of the opposing team. Within the pack you can lean on, whip, push or touch your own teammates, all in a strategic way to allow your jammer to pass and at the same time blocking the opposing jammer from doing so. The pivot, who kind of guides the pack as a whole, can signal to shift, speed up or slow down the pack all in an attempt to assist the jammer in scoring points, and block the opposing jammer. Competitions are called "bouts" and are comprised of two 30 minute halves, broken into 2 minute jams. All of this crazy, intricate action takes place in a 2 minute jam. Last week when I got the opportunity to act as a penalty time keeper at a scrimmage I witnessed a few of the jammers score upwards of 15 points. Think about it, that means that within a 2 minute time frame, these chicks had to skate 4 times around the track (AND fight through the pack each time AND pass all five players on the opposing team 3 times each!) Amazing.
The drill was that all 10 of us would skate around the track in a very large, tight pack, swerving in and out of each other, constantly touching each other on the back, hips, or arms, leaning into each other, switching position, all the while attempting to make it very challenging for the 3 other skaters who were designated as jammers to pass. When skating this close together it is essential that you can propel yourself fairly briskly without picking up your feet too much, if at all. One extra long push with your foot trailing too far away from you, one misstep or faulty shift of weight can result in a mega spill for you or a good portion of your pack. Communication and 360 degree awareness of yourself, the pack and the jammers are absolutely essential. If you are not comfortable skating and looking behind yourself constantly then you just shouldn't be attempting roller derby. Me personally, I LIVE for this. I turn on, it runs through my veins and my breath, engulfs my very being. Although acutely aware of the number of ways this could all go very wrong, I am so at home, relaxed. Perhaps it's the 20 years I spent waiting tables (most of that in crazed New York restaurants) or the 12 years Alan and I lived there and dealt with absolutely bonkers situations of over crowding and pushing on the bumpy, shaking subway and bustling sidewalks. If I remind myself to suspend the panic and claustrophobic inklings of the moment and just observe and respond to the gentle shifts within the pack the openings through which to skate present themselves. I HATED so much about the insanity of over-crowding in NY, but honestly I think those years of experience have offered me some valuable insight for this game, and for that I am grateful.
I tumble deeper and deeper in my love and addiction......
And now to the ongoing struggle of choosing my ultimate Roller Derby name....unique to me, fitting my skating style and not already claimed by any of my derby sisters.....a task I have been involved in for about 20 years, and am presently struggling with. At the time Alan and I created this blog I was solidly committed to Auntie Maim. (the Rosalind Russell version being one of my favorite all-time movies and Mame Dennis,who combined with Freddie Mercury is the perfect juxtaposition of the person I aspire to be) In the Derby world, similar to racehorses there can be only one skater with a name. Girls register their name, and some have even trademarked theirs. I have dreamed of my name for years, coming up with all sorts of terrific doozies. When I decided I wanted to actually do this Alan and I covered SHEETS of paper with all the possibilities and hung them on the fridge to contemplate. Until very recently, I had no idea of the "one-of-a-kind" name rule. So, for your enjoyment I will list here (not in any specific order) as many of the way-too-good-not-to-be-mentioned-but-sadly-already-taken monikers in the history of my quest for the perfect name:
Lucille Brawl
Ella Hitzgerald
Auntie Maim
Amelia Tearheart
Maim Dennis Dorothy Slammel
Scary Lou Henner
Nancy Impairigan
Rosalind Hustle
Killda Swinton
Tallulah Shankhead
EradiKate
Ann I. Hilkate
Maggie Kyllenhaal
Zooma Thurman
Susan Sarandoom
Drew Burymore
Slamdra Bullock
TS Helliot
Dame Judy Wench
Scare-all Streep
Isahella Rossellini
Hate Blanchett
Elizabeth Surly
Zooey Decksanel
Reese Witherdoom
Barbra Diesand
These are all either taken, or I've just decided they don't fit me, and are too similar to other skaters in the league. I want my name to be witty, but also have some personal meaning to me. That made my top three Lucille Brawl, Auntie Maim and Tallulah Shankhead. Tragically, Lucille was taken, and just this week I checked the master roster and Aunt E. Maim was now claimed. That left Tallulah, in honor of my daughter's first name. (we call her by her middle name, Oona, but for the life of me, I can't come up with a good derby name involving Oona O'Neil.) I submitted that, and one of my fellow trainees let me know that there was a Tallulah Banghead on a neighboring league. Cursed with always desiring to be an rugged individualist, it was back to the drawing board for me. The chances of there being two Tallulahs on the track if I actually pass the test November 15 and we ever bouted that team was way too much of a deterrent to me. So, after two decades and much much deep and often beer, tequila or whiskey driven soul-searching I have arrived at............
drumroll and great fanfare please.........
It's not taken by anyone, not similar in any way, involves my other love of bowling and I think, after skating in a pack for the first time last night indicative of my emerging skating style. It feels right. And ps, Maude Lebowski is awesome, as is EVERYTHING about "The Big Lebowski." Seriously, one of my all-time favorite movies. Run, don't walk to wherever you acquire your movies and see it. A must. It is genius, from start to finish. So when Alan and I get it together, that will be the new name of this blog. maraudlebowskiK8.blogspot.com.
We skated in a pack for the first time last night. Extraordinary. The 10 or so of us are basically strangers, not really having the time in 2 practices to get to know each other yet. I came away from my first pack experience feeling a much deeper sense of each of these amazing ladies, their energies, balance, and personalities. Each of them came into much sharper focus as individuals for me, as a result of working together like some kind of amoeba-like mass. Wow, what a blast.
Here's a very brief overview of the rules of the game. There are two teams, each consisting of 4 blockers (one of these is designated as the "pivot" and is sort of the head blocker, also the only player able take the jammer's place if need be and a successful pass of the star helmet cover is made.) The 5th member of the team is called the jammer, and they wear a star helmet cover. They need to skate crazy fast and are the only ones who score points. Points are acquired by breaking through the pack, skating a lap and then breaking through again and passing members of the opposing team. Within the pack you can lean on, whip, push or touch your own teammates, all in a strategic way to allow your jammer to pass and at the same time blocking the opposing jammer from doing so. The pivot, who kind of guides the pack as a whole, can signal to shift, speed up or slow down the pack all in an attempt to assist the jammer in scoring points, and block the opposing jammer. Competitions are called "bouts" and are comprised of two 30 minute halves, broken into 2 minute jams. All of this crazy, intricate action takes place in a 2 minute jam. Last week when I got the opportunity to act as a penalty time keeper at a scrimmage I witnessed a few of the jammers score upwards of 15 points. Think about it, that means that within a 2 minute time frame, these chicks had to skate 4 times around the track (AND fight through the pack each time AND pass all five players on the opposing team 3 times each!) Amazing.
The drill was that all 10 of us would skate around the track in a very large, tight pack, swerving in and out of each other, constantly touching each other on the back, hips, or arms, leaning into each other, switching position, all the while attempting to make it very challenging for the 3 other skaters who were designated as jammers to pass. When skating this close together it is essential that you can propel yourself fairly briskly without picking up your feet too much, if at all. One extra long push with your foot trailing too far away from you, one misstep or faulty shift of weight can result in a mega spill for you or a good portion of your pack. Communication and 360 degree awareness of yourself, the pack and the jammers are absolutely essential. If you are not comfortable skating and looking behind yourself constantly then you just shouldn't be attempting roller derby. Me personally, I LIVE for this. I turn on, it runs through my veins and my breath, engulfs my very being. Although acutely aware of the number of ways this could all go very wrong, I am so at home, relaxed. Perhaps it's the 20 years I spent waiting tables (most of that in crazed New York restaurants) or the 12 years Alan and I lived there and dealt with absolutely bonkers situations of over crowding and pushing on the bumpy, shaking subway and bustling sidewalks. If I remind myself to suspend the panic and claustrophobic inklings of the moment and just observe and respond to the gentle shifts within the pack the openings through which to skate present themselves. I HATED so much about the insanity of over-crowding in NY, but honestly I think those years of experience have offered me some valuable insight for this game, and for that I am grateful.
I tumble deeper and deeper in my love and addiction......
And now to the ongoing struggle of choosing my ultimate Roller Derby name....unique to me, fitting my skating style and not already claimed by any of my derby sisters.....a task I have been involved in for about 20 years, and am presently struggling with. At the time Alan and I created this blog I was solidly committed to Auntie Maim. (the Rosalind Russell version being one of my favorite all-time movies and Mame Dennis,who combined with Freddie Mercury is the perfect juxtaposition of the person I aspire to be) In the Derby world, similar to racehorses there can be only one skater with a name. Girls register their name, and some have even trademarked theirs. I have dreamed of my name for years, coming up with all sorts of terrific doozies. When I decided I wanted to actually do this Alan and I covered SHEETS of paper with all the possibilities and hung them on the fridge to contemplate. Until very recently, I had no idea of the "one-of-a-kind" name rule. So, for your enjoyment I will list here (not in any specific order) as many of the way-too-good-not-to-be-mentioned-but-sadly-already-taken monikers in the history of my quest for the perfect name:
Ella Hitzgerald
Auntie Maim
Amelia Tearheart
Maim Dennis Dorothy Slammel
Scary Lou Henner
Nancy Impairigan
Rosalind Hustle
Killda Swinton
Tallulah Shankhead
EradiKate
Ann I. Hilkate
Maggie KyllenhaalZooma Thurman
Susan Sarandoom
Drew Burymore
Slamdra Bullock
TS Helliot
Dame Judy Wench
Scare-all Streep
Isahella Rossellini
Hate Blanchett
Elizabeth Surly
Zooey Decksanel
Reese Witherdoom
Barbra Diesand
These are all either taken, or I've just decided they don't fit me, and are too similar to other skaters in the league. I want my name to be witty, but also have some personal meaning to me. That made my top three Lucille Brawl, Auntie Maim and Tallulah Shankhead. Tragically, Lucille was taken, and just this week I checked the master roster and Aunt E. Maim was now claimed. That left Tallulah, in honor of my daughter's first name. (we call her by her middle name, Oona, but for the life of me, I can't come up with a good derby name involving Oona O'Neil.) I submitted that, and one of my fellow trainees let me know that there was a Tallulah Banghead on a neighboring league. Cursed with always desiring to be an rugged individualist, it was back to the drawing board for me. The chances of there being two Tallulahs on the track if I actually pass the test November 15 and we ever bouted that team was way too much of a deterrent to me. So, after two decades and much much deep and often beer, tequila or whiskey driven soul-searching I have arrived at............
drumroll and great fanfare please.........
Maraud Lebowski, number K8
It's not taken by anyone, not similar in any way, involves my other love of bowling and I think, after skating in a pack for the first time last night indicative of my emerging skating style. It feels right. And ps, Maude Lebowski is awesome, as is EVERYTHING about "The Big Lebowski." Seriously, one of my all-time favorite movies. Run, don't walk to wherever you acquire your movies and see it. A must. It is genius, from start to finish. So when Alan and I get it together, that will be the new name of this blog. maraudlebowskiK8.blogspot.com. 
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